she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize
