Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
