My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
