I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
We talked him into tasing himself.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
