vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
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