How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
