I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
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