did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
