Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
