Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
