when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
