And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Randomize
