You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
