I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
