I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
