I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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