She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
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