i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
