i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
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