just come out here and I will go home with you...
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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