You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
