$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
