Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
And then he peed in my hair
Randomize
