2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
