found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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