I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
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