I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
