My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize