No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Randomize
