My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
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