I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
