Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Randomize