Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Randomize
