Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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