we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
