lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Who put my cat in the fridge?
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Randomize
