Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
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