Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize
