He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
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