Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Your cock deserves a montage
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Randomize
