My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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