talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
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