You work out of a Hotel?
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
