You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
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