he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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