he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
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