you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Randomize
