I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize