Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
