Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize