I wish my penis had an off switch
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
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