I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
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