i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
