Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
