i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Verdict: uncircumcised.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
