Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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