if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Randomize
