Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Randomize
