i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
I'm just crazy horny about you
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
