i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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