You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
