I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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