I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
Life is so much better after having sex.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Randomize
