i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
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