We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
