dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
Are my feet made of real feet?
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
