If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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