Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
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