I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize