I heard we made out
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Randomize
