Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Randomize
