Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
ya dads aren't the best wingmen
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
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