its not stalking. its research.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
