So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize