I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
