So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
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