well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Randomize
