covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
True college students do jello shots in the library
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