It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
