you lied. pity sex is amazing.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
