I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
