Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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