you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
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