You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Randomize
