his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Randomize
