Have you finally orgasmed yet?
talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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