Please, let me fuck your mom
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
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